Being Right Isn’t Always Right

I apologize for bringing up pickleball again, but this time it’s for another reason. When we were in Mexico a few weeks ago, my grandson’s girlfriend and I played pickleball with the Pros at the courts there. Because we played with “Pros”, I thought I had some great, new head knowledge for my pickleball friends at home.

So, last week, when one of our players stepped into the kitchen (the box on either side of the net) to volley a ball, I was quick to call a fault on the player. A bit of a disagreement ensued because he stayed in the kitchen too long. At first, he accepted the fault, but realized I was wrong with my call. That night I checked the rules to prove myself right, and sure enough, I WAS wrong. You can be in the kitchen anytime to volley a ball that couldn’t be reached otherwise. Yikes! So, Ms. Right had to apologize to the group (via text message) that I was Ms. Wrong. Ugh!

Oh the formidable debates my sweetheart and I had in our early years of marriage. We were like bulldogs tenaciously holding onto our right to be right. Thank goodness, with the help of God’s tender, loving reproof and me sleeping on the edge of the bed for way too many nights, we both gave up our rights to be right.

When we hold on to being right, it looks like two cars on a single-lane road, face-to-face and in gridlock. But at some point, we decided that being right with each other would require being a little more wrong — wrong enough to give someone the right-of-way. When we did that and backed up the cars, we experienced the joy and freedom of not having to think the same way while still being able to love the same way. And we decided that being right about an issue was less important than being right with one another, because we can be very right and yet very alone.

But, it’s not easy giving up the right to be right – especially when we trained to be “right” early on — right answers on tests, right study habits, right relationships, the right class selection to get into the right college to follow the right path. But all that emphasis on being right comes with a cost because people have value. We can be very right about an issue and very wrong with a person.

I’m pretty sure we aren’t going to enter into the gates of heaven with God saying, “Child, I am so proud of you. Look at how right you were.” I am more confident that God desires we experience the joy of being right with one another, not more right than another. I am confident He asks that where we stand on issues becomes much less important and sacred than the God we stand under together.

God desires for us to make peace with those around us. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Think about that person you are “less right with” because you’ve been so right about a position, an issue or something else that matters a lot less than another human being.

Being right does not guarantee we feel joy. I think we can all be honest and say we wish we had been a little more wrong — wrong enough to make things right with a sister, a brother, a friend, a husband, a daughter, or a son. What would it look like to be less right about whatever the issue was and be more right with the other person? Ms. Right here is still working hard on letting go of her right to be right AND working harder on pointing to my Father Who really is Mr. Right!