Celebrating While Remembering
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…..ALREADY! It seems Christmas comes earlier each year. In a sense, it does because of lightning fast time passing (I promise, you young things, you’ll understand that speed one day), but also in seeing Christmas lights shining brightly on homes already. Oh, the peer pressure! Actually, that added to my day of remembering a couple of days ago. I reminisced about November 16th, 2010, my sweetheart’s homegoing day and more than the time with him, I remembered the tizzy I was in about getting my Christmas decorations up before the family came in over the next weekend. I was bound and determined to make my home look like a Christmas Winter Wonderland. Oh yes, I did, smack dab in the day when my Sweetheart was packing up his bags (not literally) to take his fast-track ride to the other side. I had no idea this would be his homegoing day, or even week, or month. Can you even imagine how I could be remorseful about not sitting by his side, holding his hand, embracing him, talking to him and feeding on every last word he would say to me?
I’m not going there – to live in regret. That means I would be living in the past and not today or the future. It means that I would be forgetting what I did do. In between all the decorating, I went in and checked on him countless times and welcomed guests that came to see him. It means that I was forgetting the hours upon hours and days upon days of holding his hands, of embracing him through the pain, being his caregiver and nurse (literally – I did medical procedures that are typically only done by licensed nurses) and the untold hours spent with him in treatments, surgeries, and doctors’ visits.
We walked that journey together. We laughed. We cried. We celebrated. We didn’t remember the mistakes we made, the broken promises, the times we disagreed, the unfinished work around the house, or the waste of time and money. We lived that 11-month season of pursuing health together and we finished together. So, no, I have no regrets. I just won’t live there.
Soooo, what did I do to celebrate my Sweetheart’s earth-to-heaven trip last Saturday? I got out my Christmas lights (shown here) and put them up to honor living. Well, not UP, as my neighbor came over to bid me NOT to go up with the lights like many of our neighbors who had with lights up on their roofs. My blanket lights are easy reach.
Here is the biggest NO REGRET. We didn’t lose our fight. We fought the good fight of faith right through to that homegoing day. As St. Paul said, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith. Finally a crown of righteousness awaits me.” 2 Timothy 4:7,8. I am so grateful we were not in denial about the potential he might pass away. We were in 100% total expectancy in God’s Word that says “Nothing is impossible with God.” So we did fight the good fight of faith and stood strong. Because we did all we could do – I know it was his time to go home. I am secure in living like that. When we pray and seek God for the answer, He has full authority to answer our prayers with His Words “Yes or no or I have a better idea.” He did. My Sweetheart is living it today…..and so am I.
By the way, with the family, we had our lighting ceremony on Saturday, the 20th. We celebrated the beautiful, bright light that had been such a vital part of our lives for so many years. Last Saturday, I had my own lighting ceremony. My neighbors call in a crew to put up their lights but this gal got hers up on her own – because I could. I like to think that my Sweetheart, from his room with a view, was watching his girl do her thang – but, this time, not in a tizzy. I was thinking about “Joy to the World, the Lord has come” and because He came, I can face tomorrow, all fears are gone, because I know Who holds my future, life is worth the living, until I get to go home, too!