Coming Home to My Guy
I’ve been in East Texas for the last several days and what a special time we’ve had with my family — my own sweet Wallace four and precious men and women who came out to dedicate the beautiful property that will be known for bringing healing and help to many.
After those who came here for the dedication went home — the Wallace’s and I took on tree-picking — well, tree trimming and clean-up. Staci took the photos of Alexia and I giving our all for the cause. I have a couple of bruises for souvenirs!
We celebrated Payton’s 21st birthday yesterday and later in the day, headed for home sweet home in Austin. I’m looking forward to my new apartment home welcoming me. Initially, when my sweetheart went to heaven, going home without him being there was one of the harder things to get used to. No presence there welcoming me. But, I learned that feeling was totally inaccurate.
Now, as I drive into my single-car garage, these words ring loud and true for me….”You’re not alone. You get to come home to Jesus.” In the moment, I mean that in the most literal way. I’m thinking of the solace and sweet peace I have when I go home — wherever that may be. Even in the hotel room I stayed in while in Rusk, I felt at home. You see, there are most times when I may be alone….but I am not lonely.
There is a world of difference between solitude and loneliness, though the two terms are often used interchangeably. Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. Someone feels that something is missing. It is possible to be with people and still feel lonely—perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness. Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive way of appreciating ME. I have learned that my place of being alone is often where I find myself absolutely wonderful company. But, even more so, my aloneness and solitude is so incredibly heartwarming when I know that my Savior is there with me, watching over me, available to talk with, and He with me. He doesn’t demand the remote control and His clothes don’t take up too much room in the closet. He doesn’t care what food I’m eating and doesn’t mind if I stay up late, or turn in early. He is such a gentle and loving friend that He doesn’t even mind if I don’t talk to Him that much, but He sure is ready to talk when I give Him my full attention.
This place of refuge with God is so peaceful and satisfying. It’s something I cultivate and it replenishes my soul and weary body. If I had chosen cultivating “loneliness” 11 years ago, it would have been a harsh punishment and I would have been so discontented and sad. I chose solitude and coming home to my best friend.
I open the door of my home and it seems to invite me in like an old friend. I remember again that I am loved, not because of what I do but because of Who I belong to. Home is where my heart is, and since I’m not at home in heaven yet, I’m learning this: Home is also Who’s within my heart AND my home. Yes, there’s no place like home. There’s welcome mat at my front door that says: “God bless this home and all who enter”! And, that means He blesses ME everytime I enter my peaceful place I call HOME! He is there waiting for me with open arms each and every time!