I’m Having a Blue Christmas
Only because I chose to forego all my red Christmas decor that was always my Christmas color of choice. This year, I loved my navy blue and white decor so I blended in the blues and whites into my Christmas decor. There’s something about it that feels holy and still and peaceful. You can see what I mean in these photos. Welcome to my little blue space.
That “blue” is only meant for decor — not a feeling. I’ll never forget the first Christmas without my husband. My daughter and I were in the mall a couple of weeks after his funeral. We were singing along with the mall’s Christmas music playlist. Then this one came on and we were belting it out: “I’ll Have a Blue Christmas Without You!” Then we caught the words we were singing…..and we said to each other, almost simultaneously, “Oh….no, we won’t. We’re going to have a bright, merry Christmas, because Dad/Ron, you are having a bright, merry Christmas in heaven!” We knew then, and still know now, there’s too many blessings, and too much to be thankful for — to allow ourselves to be singing “down and out” and “woe is me” words and songs.
In a group text message, I was invited to a Christmas Party and the invitation read: “Bring Spouses”. Immediately a “little” pang hit my heart and I replied: “I wish!” Soon the “singles” started texting me love and stated, “We’ll have a ‘single for now’ section!” LOL! I was really being facetious because, with God’s grace, I’ve adapted well to my “single” status.
My heart goes out to anyone that this is their first Christmas without their loved one(s). The memories seem more vivid and the love we had for them is even greater during this beautiful season. Such sweet memories. And, quite honestly, there’s this yearning to be with them. After all, what Christmas could compare to a Christmas in heaven?
At Christmas 2009 I was still checking the “Married” box. Who knew that within a few months, that would change. My encouragement to you, whether you bear the “single” OR “married” status, is to value what’s really important and convey the words of what your loved ones mean to you and cherish them with all your heart because it’s not what comes under the tree that matters most.
Life will ebb and flow and our seasons will change. The season of being a couple and bringing my spouse with me to an event has changed, but you know what? I changed too! I’ve embraced the change. I can sit with my single friends, laugh and celebrate life with them. But I can also sit with my married friends (some of whom are my closest friends), hang out with them, and even travel with them. I’m not defined by my marital status and neither should you be. Perhaps being defined by our relationship status with our Lord, is the status that matters the most because, in Him, we are complete.
Christmas is so much more than all the tree and food trimmings, the gift giving and the holiday parties and programs. The original Christmas story was also about seasons. A savior was born into the world – with hope for all mankind — only to grow up and face rejection, betrayal, and death. All that we go through, He’s been through. Our hurt and our joy, He knows it. After enduring death on the cross and three days in the grave, our Hope rose again.
Those of you who are hurting deeply this holiday season, I pray in the midst of your pain, you’ll find many moments of hope and joy. Make the moments count with loved ones. Turn your sadness into gratitude for those in your life, still on this side of heaven. Give them the gift of you putting on a “garment of praise” instead of having a heavy spirit. Give them your best happy face and your best “Jingle Bells!”
May we be full of joy and resolute determination to be “present” with our loved ones and friends. What a wonderful gift to give those around us when we can offer “sacrifices” of joy in the midst of this season. We might find them in the beauty of a Christmas tree that lights a darkened room or in the kitchen with our kids or grandkids icing cookies. Maybe we’ll experience a moment of satisfaction enjoying a meal and conversation with loved ones. We may even feel a glimmer of hope at the sound of Christmas carols, the warmth of a fire, or the sight of our children unwrapping gifts. It’s tender moments like these that will sustain us.
Next year, we’ll look back and say, “That pain almost did me in, but because of God’s grace there were moments where I saw Him. Those glimpses of joy reminded me of what life could be. It’s because of those moments that I not only survived but thrived. Please don’t let pain rob you of God’s small graces and tender hugs and embraces. Just remember the good tidings of great joy that the angels gave to the shepherds. It is those same good tidings of great joy that we can experience, too!
