It’s Okay – to NOT Be Okay

In the community I live in, two very dear and precious men, within just a couple of days of each other, passed away this month. Those dear men had dear spouses who are now in the throes of recovery. They are having to make some very serious decisions about what their life is going to look like moving forward.

I met up with one of the women a couple of days ago and she had the biggest smile on her face – one, that quite honestly, was larger and brighter than I had seen on her before. I mentioned it to her and she said: “Donna, I am purposing to do what you did. I’m still here and I am going to be happy and not sad.” The other lady called me to thank me for praying for her and to tell me she was doing so much better.

Both of those precious women are dear to me and I am so proud of both of them with their attitude for carrying on without their men. But, today, I sense we need to give those who are not on the sunny side of life – a break – an opportunity to let themselves feel the emotions they are feeling.

As a matter of fact, I told one of the gals that I can be in a grocery store and hear “our song” playing and I’ll cave and the tears flow. IT IS OKAY! During those times of sudden life changes and heart-breaking and soul-searching – it is okay to wonder what the future is going to look like. It is okay to not be okay. God is the first one who gives us permission to shed tears because of our broken heart.

Psalm 34:18 says: ““The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” The Good News: Though our hearts may be breaking, God is closer than we realize. He is always with us and can heal our heart.

Having served in a Faith & Grief Ministry in Frisco, I know we must give each other room to deal with grief – not stuff or push it down or pretend it’s not there. That’s why so many still struggle from losses that occurred 20 or 30 years earlier.

What Jesus taught, sets us straight. In Matthew 5:4, He says, “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” It’s okay to grieve, but we Christians don’t grieve like the world. We give ourselves room to grieve because we miss our loved ones so much.

I’ve come to terms with it. Best. News. Ever. It’s just temporary. I know I will see my loved ones again. And what a reunion that will be!

In the meantime, for me, my friends, and perhaps you, today, we can give all our emotions to God, even crying out: “God, this hurts!” Even David, throughout the book of Psalms, cried out to God many times: “God, I’m in a tough time right now. I am really, really hurting.” You and I can cry out to God just like David did.

Maybe you feel like David – alone, forsaken, disappointed – go ahead, like David, pour out your heart to God for He is your refuge. His lovingkindness and faithfulness will surely strengthen and bless you. Also, please share your heart with a faithful, God-loving friend who will agree with you in prayer. Allow God to heal your heart – sooner than later!

Then, we’ll put on our big girl and big boy armor – and get with completing our earth assignments. We can put on our dancing shoes and turn mourning to dancing on this side of heaven! Before we know it – we’ll be celebrating together around the throne. We’ve learned our lessons well. Joy and peace win! I know it! I make that choice every day and I find the journey getting sweeter as the days go by!

“Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge” (Psalm 62:8 NLT).