I’ve Learned to Pick my Battles

You have probably heard the phrase “Pick your battles”. Also quoted: “Choose your battles wisely”. I’m sure it’s best said in actual wars and battles, but I’m referring to the time to open the door for an argument or a time to back down. You might have even said or thought the phrase yourself. I have. I have spared myself grief because I stayed silent when giving my opinion could have cost the price of peace. But there were times when I did speak my mind and later wished I could have reeled my words back in. It wasn’t worth the battle that ensued. Tapping into God’s wisdom helps us “pick our battles” wisely.

Remember the old saying: “Count to 10 before you speak!” Apply that saying to “pick your battles” because it gives time to meditate about the negative direction the winds can blow with this potential battle. It could lead to major conflict and a long, cold night on the edge of the bed or the sofa!

My dear sister, Karen, who cares for almost 99 years old mom knows picking her battles wisely keeps the peace. Mom’s communication skills have waned a lot, especially when it comes to what she remembers. What she communicates about are her present physical issues, present activities, and present conversations. Every now and then, she’ll talk about something from the past, even as recent as yesterday. Though Karen knows that’s not how the story went, she wisely chooses to not argue with Mom about it. Karen is a brilliant caregiver because what difference does it really make if Mom has the exact details down or not. Why do we have to prove our way is the right way?

Another picture that comes to mind was a few years ago When Payton, my grandson, was reaching toward the middle cinnamon rolls that are the softer and yummier ones, his mom interrupted the motion and alerted him: “Choose wisely!” She meant little sister wanted those rolls too and chaos could erupt. He took the outside roll, and oh, sweet peace, ensued. It’s what married couples learn over the years — to stand down in a disagreement when “being right” doesn’t really matter anyway.

Backing down is not always easy. Sometimes our pride gets in the way. Instead of weighing the pros and cons, we make unwise decisions to prove a point. Proverbs 16:18 says, “a prideful heart always leads to destruction.” What is there to prove if we’ve lost peace and harmony in the process?

It is just as courageous to back down for the sake of others as it is to stand and fight. We can encourage ourselves often, even in the little things – the little wins — and do our best to rise above our wants, our needs, our desires and choose to follow the example of Jesus when He walked away from conflict time and again. There were times when He made His point, but He was resolute in being a peacemaker. I’m sure He shook His head many times over His squabbling Motley Crew (the disciples) who followed Him. (Side note: You must see “The Chosen”. You’ll get a birds-eye-view of their boyish ways!) The tighter and closer we are to Jesus in principle and action – the more victory laps we’ll take because we chose our battles wisely!

Philippians 2:14-15 “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation…..”