Keep On Keeping On
Of course this precious man’s photo is my inspiration for today. Heaven is a wonderful place and every time I hear about someone’s loved one getting to go there, it seems to get sweeter and sweeter. At least it sure does for me.
I am a team member on a Faith & Grief support group that helps those who have suffered a loss of a loved one and are struggling to move on. In fact we don’t say “move on” because moving on denotes “forgetting the past and getting over the loss”. Better stated is “keep on, keeping on.” I embrace those words because I was given an assignment by God at my birth, and it’s MY assignment until I get to “go home” to heaven.
My best friend, my husband, lover, sweetheart, and my kids’ beloved father and papa went to his home in heaven this day nine years ago. I don’t take his death anniversary as an opportunity to cry over that moment of departure. Instead, I celebrate his life by living mine. I live his list, my list and everything in between. I’ve spent the last nine years of my life, evolving and growing. It’s my legacy to a man who loved and lived life in his God-given purpose on purpose. He was always KEEPING ON. Most importantly at 9 years post his graduation, I know I’m carrying on his and my legacy. If one person makes a decision to live a beautiful life because I share my journey, then my Ron lives on. That’s our collective gift to this world.
I tell you to KEEP ON keeping on living with audacious and relentless faith because Ron would tell you to live like there is no tomorrow. I invite you to live because I know firsthand it’s the best choice for anyone who grieves and can’t seem to keep on going. We can’t bring them back, but we can honor all they were by being and doing all we can. Go live. You are still here for a reason. Take in the view. Live for others and bring them along with you to heaven. I tell you this because Ron taught me one valuable lesson throughout our forty-nine years together. He taught me to keep on keeping on – no matter the storms or circumstances, no matter the bumps or bruises — all because of the cross of Jesus that we can keep on, keeping on.
On this day, I ponder: It’s been 9 years since I laid next to him. It’s been 9 years since I kissed him. It’s been 9 years since I’ve seen him hug our children and grandchildren. It’s been 9 years since I’ve heard him say, “I love you.” Oh, but, because I keep on, keeping on, look what 9 years has done for me: It’s been 9 years of personal growth and living daily with determination and purpose. It’s been 9 years of new adventures – new places I never saw, new people I’ve come to love, and a new mission. It’s been 9 years of rediscovery of learning to love myself alone. I am enough because God is enough.
I’ve moved forward boldly while honoring my past. I still miss that man as much as I ever have, but that “missing” has changed and evolved as I have. He will forever have a special place in my heart and the hearts of my children and grandchildren. What I can tell you today is that nine years ago I didn’t know what my future would look like without this larger-than-life man in my life. What I didn’t know is that my life didn’t end. It had just begun.
Everything I am. Everything I’ve learned. Every part of my heart and soul is better today than it was nine years ago. His leaving was my opportunity to make ME so much better. I didn’t die on November 16th, 2010, and I’m thankful that I realized I am still here for a reason. Regardless of what you are going through today, you have a purpose, and you can survive it. Take small daily baby steps, listen to your heart and remember to live. I can’t promise that the pain will ever go away, but I will promise that you are strong, brave and capable of anything. How do I know that? Because you have made it this far. The sun came up on this day so we can face this day with the goal of living and loving this life with all that is in us. Let’s face this day and keep on keeping on for everyone who no longer can.