Still Loving in the Love Month?
In this social media era, there’s a lot of pressure on couples to pull out all the stops when “the question” is about to be popped — from airplanes with tails that read: “Marry Me, Olivia” to a throng of people singing and dancing in the street to help the proposer ask the big question.
Sheesh! Our little rendevous to the La Tunisia Restaurant at Dallas Love Field Airport with our Bananas Foster Flambe dessert followed by the non-theatrical proposal of my sweetheart was no production, but a sweet memory between just the two of us that “took” and it lasted a lifetime!
Today, the pressure is on to one-up someone else’s production. Oh, and it’s all conveniently captured from four different camera angles and spliced together in a film that racks up millions of views and goes viral!
Although I’m glad my husband and I got engaged without any pressure from social media, I don’t knock a modern-day, pull-out-all-the-stops creative proposal. They are entertaining to watch. And they show a guy’s willingness to put time into something that will speak love to his lady. But all of this “high bar” setting can slowly start to set up a false notion about what romance actually looks like.
I am writing this blog today because I hope to remind some sweet couples going through some of life’s stuff, what matters most. Sometimes we spend a massive amount of time staging and planning our weddings and very little time gearing up for marriage, sincerely trying to discern what real romance and true love actually looks like in the every day of life.
Not to burst anyone’s bubble, but true love isn’t the grandiose proposals BEFORE the marriage, along with the hefty price tag of a wedding dress, a flambuoyant wedding and reception and an elaborate honeymoon — or worse, by going into deep debt to prove its sincerity.
Undying devotion isn’t about attention-getting tactics. So, what is it then? It is those words that most weddings (in a church, a destination location, outdoors or in a barn) contain. Words from the “Love” chapter are usally read, but these I focus on today from 1 Corinthians 13:7: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
~ True love bears all things aka love protects, shields, guards, covers, conceals, and safeguards
~ True love believes all things aka love strains forward with all its might to believe the very best in every situation.
~ True love hopes all things aka love always expects and anticipates the best in others and the best for others.
~ True love endures all things aka love never quits, never surrenders, and never gives up.
In essence, true love sticks around for the not-so-romantic, messy and mundane parts of life. It protects the relationship by continuing to believe in God’s faithfulness. It’s the steadfast willingness to stick it out when things get rocky. It demonstrates love when no one else is looking. True love is wholly committed, costing time and effort. It gives with no expectation of recognition or return. True love seeks to lighten the other’s load. It attempts to understand the feelings of the other.
Real romance takes out the trash without being reminded, changes the baby’s diaper when one parent is plain tuckered out, or swings by the office just to drop off that favorite snack for an afternoon break.
Authentic love models Christ by laying down its rights — and seeks to do no wrong. It places the other’s wishes above its own. True love is not a public fist bump. It loves in the secret places of the heart and then shows it in quiet ways, in the microscopic, mundane minutes of life.
I’ve known that love and I pray it for you. I pray that you will seek to model this Christ-like love in your marriages, a love that keeps showing up and showing Christ.