The Green-Eyed Monster
Do you ever think…..”She is so holy; he is so dedicated to prayer; they are always in such a good mood; they are so filled with God’s Spirit that they light up a room, etc.”
I’ll admit that I think those thoughts – especially when a gal shared her testimony this week at our prayer group. She said: “I spend a lot of time in my prayer closet! I don’t come out until I get an answer!” This beautiful prayer warrior described her daily routines and how she has seen God dramatically change the course of her life and her husband’s, who once was lost, but now is found…..in a robust and wild, hallelujah way!
Sometimes, I get a little uneasy when I hear people talk like that. I even get a little envious when I hear those testimonies. It causes me to do a self-analysis of my relationship with God. Maybe my conversations with the Lord aren’t long enough. She sticks prayers AND fasting! I compare my prayer life to hers and others.
Yes, I have a tight and on-going relationship with God. For goodness sakes, I spend hours with Him daily writing my blogs BUT, I am NOT an on-my-knees prayer warrior like THAT gal! I’ve used plenty of excuses for not using that posture!
I never really thought of it as envy until I started thinking about it. I sense that I am envying my friend’s prayer-closet-prayers and her closeness with the Lord and how she seems to have the Holy Spirit touch her every word and action.
But isn’t that exactly what we’ve been warned against? “Love does not envy.” (Corinthians 13:4) And Philippians 2:3 says “If we are envious of our brothers and sisters in Christ, then we do not love them. The love of Christ is void of selfish ambition and desire.”
When I am envying or sizing up someone else’s walk with God, I am not being thankful for the relationship I have with Him. When I am comparing, I am rejecting the Word of God and His overwhelming love and adoration of me for a comparison game. No, I don’t pray like she does.
But that’s okay. It’s good. And it is how God designed it. Instead of being jealous of others and their faith walk, we are glad that we each have our own relationship with God.
I have my own, wholly unique relationship with the Lord. I pray in my own way. Sometimes I pray throughout my day – when I’m driving, preparing my meals, and even when I’m directly grabbing someone’s hand and praying with them. Sometimes I recite scriptures. I recognize that I am praying when I’m writing in my journal. I always meet up with God when I am reading scriptures.
Kenneth Copeland said: “I don’t pray more than 15 minutes at a time, but I don’t go for more than 15 minutes without praying!” I get it. Our prayer life is our prayer life – throughout our day, we converse with Him, thanking Him, loving Him. And, sometimes, we’re on our knees!
There is no reason for envy. I recognize I was hand-picked and chosen by my Father to BE Who He called me to be. He doesn’t wave a measuring stick at me to qualify me to be the BEST prayer warrior. He loves me and I love Him – throughout my day as I acknowledge Him and the many blessings of having Him with me 24/7.
So, GOOD-BYE, green-eyed envy monster! God and I have a thing going on and our walk together is oh so sweet! What’s that I hear? Heavenly Father, did you just give me a gentle nudge to get on my knees to pray today? That’s where you’ll meet me today? Aye! Aye! Captain! I’m on my way!