The Keys to a Happy, Lifelong Marriage

It’s not often that I would post someone else’s words verbatim, but when I heard these (on audiobook), I knew I had to share them with those I love most. They opened my eyes to my own marriage, the struggles we had early on, the ups and downs we encountered and though our journey became sweeter as the years went by, we would have surely saved ourselves so much angst and been on a faster track by following, applying and living by these beautiful keys. If you’re still blessed to be married, I encourage you to print these out and start living by them – especially when it comes to the bumps in the road along the way. You know – when you’re sleeping on the edge of your bed so you don’t touch your loved one or when you’re giving each other the silent treatment…..again or when the “D” word comes up in your conversation or when you or your loved one’s words become less than praiseworthy. These keys are from Karen Kingsbury’s book, “When We Were Young”. The book is so real, raw and relevant to our day and times. I transcribed them to share with you. Here are “The Keys to a Happy Marriage”:

1) Keep God first. By loving God more than your spouse, you will always be humble enough to love your spouse more than humanly possible. This makes for a beautiful marriage. Matthew 6:33 — “But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.”

2) Divorce is not an option. From the beginning, remove the word “divorce” from your vocabulary. People do not look for a door where one does not exist. Mark 10:9 — “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

3) Marriage is not 50/50. There will be days when one of you falls short. Make it your goal to give 100% every day. That way, you’re both covered. Everyday forever. Colossians 3:23 — “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord.”

4) Know your spouse’s love language. People speak love in different ways: gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, intentional time. Figure out how to speak to each other so that the love between you will grow. Romans 12:9 — “Love must be sincere.”

5) Expect the best of each other. Forgive easily. Attitude is everything in marriage. Look for ways to humbly be kind to your spouse. Keep short accounts. Don’t worry about being right. Ephesians 4:2 — “Be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Colossians 3:13 — “Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

6) Keep dating. Your marriage must be a priority. Seek God first, then your spouse. Never stop dating and pursuing each other. Value and celebrate your love. Song of Solomon 3:2 —
“I must seek the one my soul loves.”

7) Build each other up. Kind words are free. Look for ways to encourage each other. Every day. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 — “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

8) Laugh often. Find reasons to be silly. Smile and be lighthearted. You’ll laugh about it later so make up your mind to laugh about it today. Proverbs 17:22 — “A cheerful heart is good medicine.”

9) Live within your means. Couples who get in debt, stay stressed. Living within your means can be great fun. Take walks. Play board games. Visit your park. Clip coupons. Hebrews 13:5 — “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.”

10) Fix yourself. Not your spouse. Work to be kinder and gentler. Be the person your spouse married. Listen well. Be intentional. Matthew 7:3 “ — Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in
your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

And my own final words for thought and application to you: Live like there is no tomorrow. Live with no regrets. Be writing your love story every day so that when you or your loved one steps over to heaven’s side and awaits you there, you’ll carry with you so many precious memories of undying passion and love right on into eternity. I did and I do.