The Price for Penance
“Prima Donna” means “diva and temperamental”. I don’t claim to be her, but I sure acted like one. I know “fessing-up” is good for me when I confess to God. And, I fess up to ME, too! Since, I am my own role model and mentor, I consistently encourage ME! Being aware of what we say and do sure keeps us striving to be better. James 5:16 says: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” My “each other” seems to be me most of the time. Here’s my pitiful Prima Donna story:
I drive the distance to Sally’s Beauty Supply for their hair products special: 4 for $20. I present my four products to the cashier. She asks if I want a bag for my purchase for 15 cents. That’s when my cheery disposition goes south! I respond: “Really? No, I don’t.” I think: “Charging for bags?” Then, my bill total is $39 – NOT $20. Argh! The check-out tablet reads: “Is this correct?” I say to the gal “No, it’s not.This total isn’t correct.” She responds “Oh! That’s because two of your products aren’t on sale!” Me: “Even though the sign clearly says 4 hair products for $20? Just forget it.” And Prima Donna promptly divas herself AND her “‘tude” out of the store into her car. I hear God’s gentle voice: “You can do better than that!” I ask Him for forgiveness. He forgives, but I’m ashamed of me AND my ‘tude!
God’s forgiveness, as sweet as it is, often doesn’t keep us from “paying for our mistakes”. I’m sure He is smiling from ear to ear as I type this blog. Next day, I am about to pay for my gas at the pump and realize I am missing my credit card. OH NO! I left it in that tablet at Sally’s. I call and ask about it. The gal says: “Oh yes we have it.” I express my apologies and commence to go into my “Christian-ese” words “God keeps a tight leash on me and this time, evidently I broke out of the leash. I am so, so sorry.” I think to myself after asking for God’s forgiveness AGAIN, “This requires penance. Penance means a voluntary self-punishment as an outward expression of repentance for having done wrong.” Oh, yes, I deserve this shame. Now I need and want to make amends to compensate for my behavior and to sing my “diva done wrong” song.
I stop and buy these “Fall” decorated cupcakes as my penance. I carry them into Sally’s. You know how dogs’ ears go back and their heads are down when they do something they know is wrong – I just know that is the way I looked as I walk back into Sally’s and repent: “I brought a peace offering.” She smiles and says: “You didn’t have to do that.” And I reply: “Oh yes I did. I’m not like the person you saw yesterday. I want to be a God pleaser who is filled with God‘s love in my actions and reactions. You all didn’t deserve what I gave You.”
The enemy of our souls – the thief, stealer, and destroyer (John 10:10) wants to trick us into situations like this. I continue to learn from my mistakes and determine to raise the bar in my life. I want to be held accountable to the One who never had a “’tude”. Coming clean to others when we’ve said or done something that is out of character as a follower of Christ is humbling, but so remarkably close to the Father’s heart.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10