What Would You Tell Your 18-Year-Old Self?

I’ve heard that question posed to an older someone more times than not. They’re asked for wise advice about what they learned from their trials and errors. The answers vary because they lived and learned. And oftentimes they wish they had chartered a different course or given their all at something only to let it go when the going got tough. They may have had this brilliant idea only to never pursue it and THEN they see someone else earn millions because they invented it instead of them.

If I were asked the question, “What would you tell your 17-year-old self” (because I was 17 when we married), I would respond with some of the above, but because every decision I made, that WE made, there was always God Who guided us, corrected us, and we learned from every mistake and every victory. We had a choice to make early on – live with regrets or live with thanking God that for every mistake we made, He gave us a rope to pull us out of the mess, a chain to hook our car to when it was stuck, an anchor to hold us in the storms that rocked our boat, and a water hose to douse out the fires. I say all that — quite literally!

Oftentimes it felt hopeless, but it never was – God always provided a way of escape. “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

I remember when my son was just learning to walk. Already, before he was completely steady on his two little feet, he had gained the “I can do it myself” mentality. He’d try to pull his hand away from our clutches to go it alone. I remember holding tight to his little hand to protect and guide him as we were walking down a slight incline. He managed to pull out of my grip. In about two or three steps, he lost his balance and footing, fell, and rolled down the hill. At the bottom, with tears in his eyes, he looked up at me in wonder. I knew He was thinking “Why did YOU do that?” Like it was my fault.

Isn’t that just the way we are? We try to do our best on our own. We want to do it “my way”, but when the outcome is less than successful, we look to God saying: “Why did you do that?” The fact is, God doesn’t let go of us. We pull away and say “I can do it myself. I’ll lead.” Oh, that we would lean into God for His wisdom, His best plans and desires for our lives. When we hold His hands, we are assured of His provision, His protection, and His peace. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified for the Lord your God goes before you. He will never leave you or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Whether it’s protecting us, providing for us, or helping us to work out our troubles, God can be trusted to care for His own. We should never want to be so independent, that we forget Who is holding tight to our hands. He assures us that He’ll help to make our rough places smooth and our winding places straight!

Now, if I were asked what I would tell my 17 or 18-year-old self, I would say: “Breathe, embrace the moments, don’t be so serious, be thankful in all things, hold tight to God’s unchanging hands and enjoy the ride!” From experience, I know that of all the folks who come in and out of our lives, we only get to keep two for the whole ride: ourselves and Jesus. May we trust in that friendship that sticks closer than any brother. No losing in that friendship – only a thrill of a ride that lasts from here to eternity and beyond!