An Icebreaker Became a Memory Maker
Our interdenominational fellowship group came together in my community on Tuesday night for another pot luck meal and time of fellowship. There is always an entertaining or thought-provoking time after dinner. This week we had five icebreaker questions to discuss at our table. I sat by my cousins and there were two other couples at our table. Naturally, for the couples, they answered the questions with each other in mind. For example, question one was “If stranded on an island, what 3 things (or people) would you want to have with you and why?” Each one of the couples gave as one of their three as each other. Widow Donna came up with a hatchet, water, and a ladder (I need help climbing a tree!). I’ve watched “Survivor” episodes so I know what I’d need on a deserted island.
The one question that gave me pause and introspection was “If you could live one year from your life again, which one would you go back to?” The couples’ answers were beautiful: “Going back to the first church that we pastored in Fayetteville, AR that began in our home and grew exponentially.” Another couple talked about the year that their first child was born, and the other talked about the year when he returned from Vietnam to come home to his wife and baby. Then it was my turn. I had plenty of time to consider it and, without a doubt, it would be the last year of my husband’s life that I would want a do-over.
You see, my sweetheart was a muscle-bound, picture of health and strength, full of the joy of living and sharing God’s love in ministry and counseling. We had traveled a lot and had the thrill of precious times with our children and grandchildren. Life was good. Then, came the day when we received the diagnosis of Stage 4 Kidney Cancer that changed everything. Life came to an all-consuming 24/7 endeavor to get him healed. If it had been God’s will, he would still be around today because with all the treatments, surgeries, interventions, and most of all, the prayers from around the world, it was his time.
This is what I shared with our group. I would have stopped being Martha – doing, doing, doing and I would have stopped to embrace every second that I had with my Love. I would have spent every waking moment laughing about our puppy love romance at ages 12 & 13 and some of the crazy things we did together. I would have talked more about all that God had blessed us with in the past than continuing to figure out that awful disease. We both knew he was in God’s hands and it would have been so much better to have trusted implicitly for the outcome than all the going here and there and everywhere. I would have sat with him patiently at the dinner table and just talked and talked instead of hurrying to get the dishes cleaned up so quickly. I would have thanked God for the ups and downs that we survived and even thrived through. Actually, I’ve added a little more than what I actually said in that group, but what I did say to them, as couples, to live each day as if this were the last with each other. Love each other deeply.
Since we can’t do do-overs — the best way to live life on this side of heaven is to take each day — one day at a time — and live it as though it were our last — living with no regrets — embracing and loving those around us with intensity, gratitude and gusto. Living in the light of eternity — helping take as many others with us to heaven. My Love is waiting for me there. I look forward to introducing you to him one day!