Even in Messy, Whiny Days – God is Right Here
I’m here at my office desk typing this blog. My morning ritual is in progress. Wake up (thank God, I woke up), head to my office, look over my blog written yesterday with a fresh perspective, make necessary changes and publish on Facebook, Instagram, and my two blog sites. I look at my desk cluttered with papers, coupons, bills to pay, mail I haven’t opened and garage sale supplies (yes, I’m having a garage sale with my community this weekend – what a work-out that is). Please, God, don’t judge me on messiness or whininess today!
I have a lot on my plate today – some God things, but mostly Me things. I hear a voice in my head telling me what I do doesn’t really matter. It’s small stuff compared to others who are juggling way more than I am. And, not having all the responsibility that comes with raising a family, I still feel a bit overwhelmed today with “to-do’s”, meetings to determine if I should take that new ministry position, this garage sale, my volunteer job, and other commitments. But, does it all matter anyway?
It’s likely the opposing team, the enemy of my heart, that is causing this inner turmoil AND this whininess. He tries to make me feel insignificant and under-qualified. He plays a number on me. I recall a couple of days ago when my granddaughter had to let her brother use her car. She said: “I sure miss my car!” I replied “I sure miss Papa!” It put things in perspective for her and reality to me. I really do miss him when I could use his arm around my shoulder, snuggle me close into him, cheer me on and remind me “I’m here for you!”
A bad movie is playing in my mind: “You should throw in the towel and coast. You’ve earned the rest. You should sit back and let God use others. What you do doesn’t really matter anyway. You should stop right now”. Then into this space of doubt and anxiety, I hear God’s voice telling me I’m not alone in this “life” thing. He’s right here with me, always, still saying, “I will never leave you or forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). And this too: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).
If we are showing up to serve our Maker, if we are seeking to follow Him, and there is someone or some-thing trying to push us away, then we can be sure it is not God. He is not saying we are disqualified. He’s not hollering “shape up or ship out.” His instruction isn’t, “Come back when you’ve got it together.” Instead His invitation is, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
As I take hold of this truth today, my shoulders relax, my breath slows. I settle into my comfy office chair that has become a place of simple, enlightening, beautiful grace. I start typing this blog again – perhaps the words are more for me than you. I push the POST button and trust that there is someone besides me who needs an encouraging word that helps them know, they are not alone either. That whatever happens in this day and whatever we say and do, we will still have God by our side and on our side at the end of the day, telling us “You are enough!”