Fast Forward — It’s R-Rated
I’m in “search and let-it-go” mode. My community is having its bi-annual garage sale this weekend. It’s a great way to purge and get rid of junk which may very well be someone else’s treasure. I always loved going to garage and estate sales. I think that’s what led my sis-in-law and I to start the estate sale business years ago. It’s a lot of work – but oh the fun we had with our niche — we marketed the home and its contents. That’s all behind me, but I’ve had lots of sweet memories hit me as I went through closets, cabinets, drawers and an attic of “stuff” that needed to be purged.
My best find was my old VCR. I thought I had discarded it long ago. I have many VHS tapes that hold fond memories on them and couldn’t watch them. But when this search and rescue began, who knew I’d run into it? Since Payton, my grandson, was over helping me get down some items from my attic, I asked him to set up the VCR for me. A couple of connections and whoa-la — I had a working VCR. The VHS tape I most wanted to see was the video of my husband and I resaying our wedding vows on our 35th anniversary. Payton put in the tape and it started playing at the end when Bishop Jacob said “Now, you may kiss your bride!” And if that wasn’t enough, he continued, “You can do better than that. You’ve had plenty of practice by now!” And, my husband went in for the full-in lock and load! My grandson said, “Nana, this should be R-Rated!” I’m still smiling!
I love Payton’s love for his Papa and this VHS tape showed him alive and well again. I don’t push memories or thoughts of my husband to the side because the best of him is in me, my children and my grandchildren. Often, we’ll talk about him and remember one of his stories or jokes or funny ways of doing things. He was a perfectionist who insisted: “Do it right or don’t do it at all!”
Here’s the really good news. It’s okay to miss Papa (my Sweetheart) and still fully live the life God has created for me. The missing reminds me this world is not my home and that life is precious and short. Whether I live thirty more days or thirty more years, this life will be over sooner than I think. Knowing this reminds me to slow down, to live generously, to forgive often, and to love deeply – to cuddle with those who lean into me and want to talk and share about the best of times.
I am grateful for knowing that Papa really does have an afterlife. It’s the real life he was destined for – where there is freedom from pain and sorrow and there’s eternal praises and joys forevermore. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human mind has conceived the things God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9) And, Papa loved Him so much. I can only imagine the afterlife he is getting to live!
So for now, I will embrace the memories, the sweet kisses from heaven and those on the VHS tape that remind me he is probably leaning over heaven’s balconies cheering us on — like he did on this earth when he tried to “sell” us on something: “Ya’ gotta’ see this. Ya’ gotta’ be here. Ya’ gotta’ do this! It is worth the journey…..it is worth it all.”