I Looked, But Didn’t See
To my Life Group this week, I confessed that I had become irritated with the trash and paraphernalia around the homeless areas near where I live. When I first moved to Austin, I took on the “Miss Goody Two Shoes” persona when I saw the homeless near where I live and throughout Austin. I blogged about how Jesus was homeless in His three years of ministry. So, I pledged to see Jesus in the homeless as I would drive by their encampments. I wish I could say that I kept that self-righteous attitude, but it soon caved even to the point of resentment.
Now, because of the ban that was passed this year, the homeless have been relocated. Still homeless people stand on street corners holding their signs for help. I pondered: “Why don’t they get a job? Why aren’t they trying to improve their conditions? My ongoing debate with myself caused me to look the other way from who they were and what their needs might really be.
Coming out of church and the parking lots on Sundays, is the same man with his sign asking for help. Quite smart of him to wait on those who just heard messages about giving. I admit that I saw him, standing (he could stand), holding a sign (he could write), and judged him for begging rather than working. I reasoned – I know people who have serious life conditions, yet they work to earn their living. What in the world happened to my warm heart?
In our Life Group this week, I got a wake-up call – not that I had been sleeping at all, but my conscience was seared from a cold heart. Obviously, I was not Mother Teresa with her unrelenting heart for helping ALL humanity. Reviewing the pastor’s Sunday message, we talked about having “giving hearts”. One of the women said “We look but we don’t see. We see but we don’t look.” She asked: “Did you SEE the man standing at the corner of the church parking lot? Did you look at him but didn’t see him?” Ouch! I saw him but didn’t really SEE him and his desires, his needs, his wants.
Scriptures came flooding into my mind.
Jesus said, in Matthew 5:25, “For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in.”
And Matthew 25:40, “….inasmuch as you have done it to one of the least of these, My brothers, you have done it to Me.”
Ouch and OH ME! Miss Do-Good had let reasoning, insensitivity and callousness blind me. I, who am beyond blessed, yearned for the traffic light to change so I didn’t have to respond to someone in need, regardless of their plight. I, who desire to be used by God to touch a hurting soul, withdrew from compassion and sensitivity.
After being schooled ever so gently by God through one of my “students”, (Yes, oftentimes students teach their teachers), I have repented and repurposed my purpose. And that purpose is to SEE on purpose. I desire to live in an “I can’t help myself” – I MUST be an extension of Jesus’ love and invite Him in via the hungry and those starving for love. It’s not up to me to judge them, but to freely give as Jesus freely gave. He SAW the hungry (even fed 5,000+ of them); He SAW the blind, touched them, and they, too, could SEE. He SAW the sick and healed them.
I know a sure sign that our concern for people is growing when we find ourselves LOOKING at people and thinking, “How can I help them? What do they need?” We can’t do everything, but we can do something. I’m purposing to have a warm heart and I am going to SEE. It’s a small, meager way, but I’ve made up little bags to keep in my car and LOOK for those who look just like Jesus! I want them to know they matter. I want to know they matter.