What Does 50 Look Like?
Well, to our boys — with an onery streak — it looks like these remarks to their dad:
“Dad, you might need to get a walker for the next trip.” and with an add-on from another brother, “with the tennis balls on the bottom”. After Ryan was crying from the sheer emotion of love given to him, Braden (the firefighter/paramedic) said, “Dad, at your age now, you better watch out with all that crying because it’ll be harder to bounce back from all the dehydration.” Brennan said, “Do you need help crossing the road?” “Can you hear me now?” Another said to his Mom, “Seriously, Mom, have you thought about getting a ramp put in the pool for Dad now?” Ryan and the boys were getting ready to run on the beach. Ryan was stretching and said, “Wow my hips are tight.” Braden said, “Now at your age, Dad, you gotta’ be careful about hip fractures.” Brennan announced, “Dad, I just want you to know I’ll take care of you when you’re 90.” Ryan took it all in with grace. LOL!
Aside from the “50” expected humor, Ryan was celebrated by all with our traditional “special plate” time at breakfast. Each one of us shared what he means to us. which is always a time of tenderness and emotion — going both ways. When it came to my turn, I talked about the sweet time I had putting together all the photos for the RKW photo collage. Every photo came with a flood of memories about the blessings and joys this 50-year-young man has brought to me over the years.
Precious Shawntel made sure every detail was taken care of — from M&M’s with “I love you”, “Happy 50th” and his picture on them, to 50 roses, 50 decor’, 50 balloons, 50 notes of “What Dad means to me” from the kids, a breakfast of his absolute favorite — Huevos Rancheros (eggs, tortilla, beans, special sauce, avocado, and cheese) to the hotel’s Happy 50th marked with stones on the sand at the beach.
After breakfast, we reminisced about the 100+ baby sea turtles that we had seen released into the ocean the night before. It was quite the wildlife moment to watch and realize that, had they not been rescued, they would have been eaten by seagulls or crabs. We learned there are four more nests on the beach by Mama & Papa sea turtles.
Ruth, Braden, Brennan, Bryson and ME — throughly enjoyed the opportunity to go parasailing. Not at 50, but 68 (ME) went up, up and away, and the parasail workers said, “You’re amazing — not many your age would consider going up.” Okay that made me feel good “for your age”….or NOT! LOL! Look what remarks Ryan can look forward to in the years to come!
Last night was the birthday finale as we enjoyed a beautiful meal by torch-light on the beach, Mexican singers playing their guitars, a few dance moves by some of us, and we all toasted this man who continues to be relentless in making a difference in our lives and in this world.
Here’s my answer to the question, “What does 50 look like?”
1) You get a “Welcome to AARP” from AARP — LOL! So, you get “carded” again — once it was to prove you’re 21, and now it’s to prove you’re over 50. At 50, card-carrying Ryan becomes eligible for some pretty sweet senior discounts through AARP.
2) At 50 you see that you’ve done a pretty good job with your kids. I like the line from Bob Carlisle’s “Butterfly Kisses” that says “For all that I’ve done wrong, I must have done something right.” I know that Ryan sees his kids as really awesome people because before this year, he enjoyed lots of friends to celebrate with him. This year — he wanted to enjoy his family. It is an amazing thing to see my kids enjoying their kids.
3) 50 looks like appreciating each new day more — taking in the simplest things like the cool breeze in the morning and the fresh rain that came overnight — to the extraordinary miracle things. For example, on the first day here, Braden lost his wedding ring in the ocean. After looking for such a long time, each one wrote it off as a loss — but Ryan didn’t. He spoke to people who work along the beach area and told them to keep an eye open for it. Two days later, yesterday — on Ryan’s birthday — he watched as one of the workers reached down and with a big smile on his face, brought the “lost” ring to Ryan. Ryan was able to use that story as a teaching opportunity about God’s love for His kids.
4) At 50, capturing memories is dearer than ever before. Having a home where many special occasions will take place, and always looking for ways to improve upon the comfort and fun you’ll have together with your family and friends there. Making vacations count. For most of us, we don’t have luxury homes or vacations, but it’s not all the luxury items, but, “home” is memories, laughter, celebrations of life. That’s what we think when we’re 50+.
5) At 50, you start thinking….what can I do that leaves a mark that I’ve been here. Indelibly imprinted on many people’s lives are the people who took the time to encourage and inspire them. Encouraging and inspiring others becomes a mode of operation for those who desire to “leave footprints in the sand” that others can follow.
6) At 50, you are very aware of your mortality — especially if you have friends that have already passed from this life. It’s a good thing to think about the days we have left here on this side of heaven, because it makes us very aware of living each day with gusto, gratitude AND grit. Grit meaning to full-on determination and perseverence to finish strong.
7) At 50, we suddently become a fountain of wisdom. Younger people just assume since you’ve lived this long and avoided living under a bridge somewhere, that you must have some valuable insights for them. I loved it when I heard Braden asked his dad if he could share his “CEO Mentality” philosophies on his website. It’s the perfect time to remember who your mentors were and why, and then emulate them. The wise “young” age 50 sage, Ryan, gave us lots of words of wisdom last night.
8) At 50, we admit the mistakes we made along the way, and reckon with how best to rectify them — by asking for forgiveness from God and others we may have failed. Someone who is truly in touch with their frailities as well as their triumphs is one who acknowledges that they faltered, yet, came back better than ever. I loved hearing Ryan asking for forgiveness from his family for the times he may have faltered as a dad and husband and asked for forgiveness. That, my friends, is a true witness of a leader worth following.
9) At 50, we realize we don’t always have to be the one that ‘s right all the time. By now you don’t give a rip what others think about you and your opinions and you can always veer to letting others speak their mind AND let their mind be set on what they think.
10) At 50, we can stop sweating the small stuff like “what will they think if I wear that shirt and pants?” or whether you bought that pair of jeans at Target or Nordstrom’s, or whether your child is an honor student or barely passing student. Not worrying about the small stuff gives our minds time to ponder more important questions of life like “How can I be a better person?”
Turning 50, to some, is just another year — just another birthday, but for those who live with destiny and “eternity” in mind, it means waking each day with realizing God’s mercies are new every morning so why not take in those mercies and pass those mercies on to others who need heroes, mentors, and role models to show them the way of thanksgiving and gratitude for this life given to us by God. Whether we are 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 or 90…..our lives aren’t about the numbers. How old we are and who we are is God’s gift to us. Who we are becoming, is our gift back to God and to others.