When It’s Hard to Say (or Hear) “Praying for You”

Recently I found out not everyone appreciates it when we say the words “I’ll be praying for you” or asking them to “Please pray for……” On this occasion, I was told “Since I don’t pray, and know for certain that prayer doesn’t work, I’d take it as a personal favor if those of you who simply can’t resist exhorting me to do so, would cease e-mailing me. Right now would be good.” I surmised that that one was having a rough day for some reason, and I couldn’t be silent.

OFirst I recommended that thinking good thoughts toward others would help if one doesn’t want to pray. Then I told my story. “To the contrary, prayers do work. I am a widow and were it not for my prayers and the prayers of others, the calm and great peace from the outset of my husband’s illness, to his passing to the strength and peace I continue to live in today, I wouldn’t be here, or if I were, I’d be a most miserable human being. The fact is prayers work, but when we don’t get the answer we want, often we conclude that there is no God or that God could care less. I discovered long ago that God isn’t a divine Santa Claus or a genie in a lamp. And, He isn’t a holy bellhop who jumps at our beck and call. God operates by His perfect will and our prayers are always subject to it. Many times I’ve prayed and didn’t get the answer I wanted. He maybe responded with a “no or not now”, but knowing Him as my Heavenly Father, I know He knows what’s best for me. I have come to realize how God uses my pain and struggles to fashion me into being a more compassionate friend to others.

I had more to say, but most importantly, I started thinking even more about those words “I’ll pray for you,” and while it seemed to offend this person, maybe those who are fully devoted followers of Christ, may even be disappointed and hurting, and though those words may be kind, they can also sound like a cliché and an empty promise. Broken relationships, financial difficulties or the recent loss of a loved one, can cause even the most faithful to question if God loves them or even notices their circumstance. So, why do we offer to pray for others? Prayer is an invitation for us to share the Father’s heart with His children. He desires for each of His children to feel loved, cared for and encouraged. And, He can make Himself real in the moment for those who need to feel His touch through us.

Let’s face it – in our hearts we know God loves us and longs for us to turn to Him for the comfort and encouragement we need, but there are times when a Pity Party seems like the best place to go. But, it’s those times, especially, that we should welcome others to pray for us. Maybe it’s even a good idea to request for them to specifically ask God to help us begin to trust Him again. When someone offers to pray for us, let’s appreciate their concern for us and welcome their prayers. In hope and faith, remember, “The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.” James 5:16. A one-minute prayer can move a moment filled with discomfort to a place of renewed trust in God’s comfort, love and healing ways.

So, whether or not you actually speak the words – “praying for you” – let’s remember that prayer is a powerful tool and it actually can bring peace and relief to a hurting heart. I know it — from first hand experience. While we must consider how others feel about the phrase, it shouldn’t stop us from bowing our heads and lifting our worries, thoughts and concerns for one another to our loving Father.

By the way….”My FB friends — I’m praying for you and I mean it. Lord, please bless, console, comfort, restore, heal, and renew my dear FB friends today. May they sense your loving arms around them. May they know how much You love them…..all the way to the cross…..and back. Amen”