I Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda
You know those words: “I should have done that but”, “I would have been been that but” or “I could have gone there but…..” Should — Would — Could are words I’ve determined to get out of my vocabulary this year because they represent the past and that past is behind me. Or they represent hesitation to move forward.

I posted that I chose the word “contentment” this year as my word of the year to focus on and maintain. But yesterday a new thought occurred to me: What word am I not going to choose this year? I’m going to take the “shoulds” off the table because I want to wake up each morning and have a true purpose in this new day. I want to take on projects and activities and be able to say “yes” to opportunities that open the door to new friendships and new adventures. That’s why I’m volunteering at Scottish Rite Hospital for Children where I meet precious children, families, co-volunteers, and medical personnel. In fact, I met a co-volunteer yesterday that inspired me with her energy and zeal. I could be saying, I shoulda volunteered, but instead, I’m saying “I’m sure glad I did.”

I’ve also signed up for a couple of “field trips” to historical places to visit here in the Dallas area. I remember a friend of mine coming to Dallas last year with a group and her describing the interesting places that I had never visited in my city and I thought — “I should have gone to those places by now!” No more “shoulds”. I don’t know anyone going on these upcoming field trips, but I’m going to get out and about and meet new friends and make the most out of it.

I said “Yes” to being on an advisory group at my church. Instead of being a “shrinking violet” I’m going to use my skills and talents to hopefully benefit this group with my knowledge and training.

When we take the ‘shoulds’ off the table, we find out why we’re really waking up in the morning with a true purpose and intent on forgetting the past and making the most of each new day. Instead of saying I should do this. I should do that. I shouldn’t feel this way, I’m going to make statements like “I will do this. I will do that. I will not have those feelings.”

I thought “What can replace the ‘shoulds’ in my life?” It came to me that gratitude is what belongs in my heart and on my lips. For example, I took a nap the other day and when I woke up I thought “I should have finished inputting those records.” Then I came to myself and whispered, “Thank you, God, for that nap gift. I must have really needed it.” I got up and finished my work.

‘Should, would, could in my life are trickster and fibber words. I have decided that I won’t be speaking their names this year. Instead, I’m choosing, “I will, I can, I am”. I choose to live with no regrets because there isn’t a thing we can do about the past. We can lament a missed opportunity for years that can weigh down our hearts like a steel anchor. “If I had only…” has nothing to do with talent; it is simply the result of courage or procrastination.”

Those people – the shoulda coulda woulda folks – are not you and me. We are destined to leave an indelible mark on the world, as long as we have the will to make it happen. We’ll never know what we are truly capable of until we unleash our passion and give ourselves permission to go, do, be creators. I don’t know about you, but when I get to the end, I hope I’ll have more battle scars and fewer regrets. May we seize the day and never, never, ever be a shoulda, coulda, woulda.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13