It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year — Not Time for Down and Out Songs or Words

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year to Sing Joy-Filled Songs

I apologize in advance of this post because it’s me being REAL again — expressing what I’ve learned the most from the loss of my best friend and husband during this time of the year, and how much I want to help others glean from my experiences. Just maybe this is your first Christmas without that special someone in your life. I hope you’ll be encouraged from my words.

This is what my first Christmas looked like without my “special someone”. It had been just a few weeks after my husband of 44 years had graduated to heaven when my daughter and I headed out to do some Christmas shopping. By that time we had heard every rendition possible of “I’ll Have a Blue Christmas Without You!” and of course we always thought about him when we’d hear it. We even started to sing along with the song, when we both caught the words we were singing. We said to each other, almost, simultaneously “Oh, no, we won’t. We’re going to have a bright, merry Christmas, because he’s having a bright, merry Christmas in heaven!” We realized that there were too many blessings, and too much to be thankful for — to allow ourselves to be singing “down and out” songs or saying “woe is me” words.

Just shortly after his funeral, I attended the funeral of a dear 98-year old friend who was my mentor in so many ways. She rarely missed church — rain or snow — she was always there; she always had a kind word to say to everyone. She was just the person you would want to sit by at a table because you never heard her complaining. She loved God with all her heart. It was such joy to know she had reached her heavenly reward — she earned it! After the funeral, a dear friend acknowledged me and said, “Oh, it must be so hard for you to attend another funeral.” I quickly replied, ”Oh, no, not at all. It’s another joyful celebration to attend!”

Being a new widow, it was amusing AND disconcerting, to hear what well-meaning people said. “You’ll have a hard Christmas and new year, but God will be with you!” “Just go ahead and grieve – it’s okay!” I told a friend that my youngest grandsons would be spending a week with me after Christmas. Her reply, “Oh, that’s good. It will help you get through this tough time.” I started thinking “Wow, these well-meaning friends need a class in “Bringing Hope and Cheer:101.” The fact is, I could have chosen to soak up that pity and be pitiful. But, instead I chose the “powerful and productive” way.

Yes, there were times when I thought about the sweetness of our love story, and I’d start to shed a few tears because I missed him so much. But, time after time, I would remember God’s words. “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) “…let your widows trust in me.” (Jeremiah 49:11) “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” (Psalm 68:5).

With absolute trust in God, I found such beautiful dependence in Emmanuel “God with me”. It felt like I was carrying a new “Widow’s Card” that entitled me to so much special treatment. God was there when I couldn’t find my passport to travel to Mexico for R&R after the funeral. It was found by my daughter, where my stealth husband kept it hidden for safekeeping. God was with me when I needed to visit our attorney — after all we had businesses and a humanitarian foundation I needed to deal with. I couldn’t find an important file after hours of looking. But then, from a hall closet, I saw some greenery sticking out from under the door. I put it there to make room for Christmas decorations. I opened the door and there was a box of files — with the file I needed for the attorney. I started paying attention to so many little kisses from heaven because rather than a spirit of heaviness, I had chosen to put on a garment of praise.

Here is how I’ve maintained my peace:
1) Psalm 16:11 “…..in His presence is fullness of joy”. When I take my eyes off myself and enter into His presence, I live in a state of overflowing joy and peace.”

2) Psalm 22:3 “He inhabits the praises of His people.” He inhabits (hangs out) with me when I praise Him. God with me.

3) Psalm 23:1 “The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want.” He promised to be my Shepherd, therefore, I will not want. He leads and guides me. He provides just what I need.

After seven years, my faith journey continues. There have been many course alterations, but the journey keeps getting sweeter and sweeter. The more I have trusted Him, the more He has given me “Beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness” Isaiah 61:3.

These are the words I continue to give to those who are going through a crisis of any kind! Emmanuel — God IS with us, so It is possible to be full of joy and peace — even at a funeral! Regardless of the time of year, God is faithful, and we can make the choice — pitiful or powerful. If it’s powerful, then, instead of those “Blue” days and Christmases, we will be singing — all year long, “IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!”