No Thanks, I Can Do It Myself!
No Thanks, I Can Do It Myself!
Self-Sufficiency – self-supporting, self-reliant, self-sustaining,
“I’ve watched my dear 95-year-old mother-in-law, who has been quite independent for years, now be willing to let go of that self-sufficiency. Since she uses a walker, I offered to carry her purse and she’d reply “I can carry it myself!” Now, she let’s us carry it, and, recently, has even succumbed to allowing us to push her in a wheel chair when she leaves the house. It came with great difficulty to relinquish her independence, but now she gladly allows us to help her out.
Funny how, in this independent mindset that we hold on to for so long, we become almost TOO GOOD at being self-sufficient. I’m guilty as charged. Fortunately, there have been very few things that I couldn’t do myself, especially in this age of being able to google just about anything to DIY (do it yourself). In fact, I just had to use google to figure out how to put a spray tank together so I could spray some of my bushes for insects. Whoa la! Done!
Because of Dr. Google, I can tell my doctor what my health issue is even before he tells me. With google and other sources, I have become a master problem solver. Whenever I face difficulties that seem insurmountable, I stick with it until I find a solution. I am determined to find a way to manage difficulties without needing much help from others or being a burden to anyone else.
Typically, self-sufficiency would be considered an admirable quality to strive for, but now I’m thinking I need to guard myself against becoming too good at it. I don’t want to bother anyone else to have to help me. I feel like I should be capable and strong enough to make things happen and roll with the results without falling apart. I’ll admit it — it’s been difficult to humble myself to ask for help or guidance, even when I need the support. But, I do have to call in help to pull down my attic stairs which are heavy, high and, clearly, are a hazard. I sure don’t want my family to have to deal with a bruised, broken or lacerated Mom/Nana.
How well I remember the independence of my children and grandchildren when they were toddlers. They wanted to do everything themselves — except for when they didn’t want to do something, like clean up their toys or eat their veggies. I wanted to help them grow and I wanted to fix things and prevent difficulties for them. It’s the plan to give them the tools they need to make wise choices so they can grow up to be self-sufficient. Sometimes that means letting them fall down so they can learn and grow from their own mistakes, even though we’d rather protect them from falling. Nevertheless, we are there to protect them even when they fall.
Our Heavenly Father longs to have that close relationship with us. He wants to help. He wants to save us from a lot of the mistakes we’ll make without His wisdom. He wants us to be dependent on Him. It’s easy to rely on our own strength, our own ability, and our own wisdom — so much so that we no longer reach out to our Father and let Him in to help us. It’s so easy to start to leave Him out of our daily life, decisions and activities, and only run to Him when there’s a big crisis.
Even in the thick of our daily challenges and struggles, God is right there to lay His gentle hand on our shoulder to say “Let Me help you with that.” He’s hoping we will let Him help. He never stops loving us or wanting that relationship with us, even when we feel like we should have it all together by now. I don’t like calling out for help to anyone, but I’m seeing that there are times when I must. In the same way, God is a mere call away when we call upon Him.
Psalm 91:15 “Call on me and I will answer you. I will be with you in trouble. I will deliver you and honor you.”
By the way, I am delighted that I’m NOT so independent that I can yield to my children’s wishes this weekend, when they’re giving me my Mother’s Day present in the form of power washing my patios, garage, driveways and windows. Yes, I’m still a “smart cookie”….I know when to DIY AND when to submit to the joys and blessings of motherhood — and relinquish my self-sufficient spirit!