Our Longevity has a Purpose

I am still in the afterglow of all those candles on my birthday cake. Although I am genetically predisposed to living deep into my 90s (the women in my family are die-hards), I can unequivocally say that for me, longevity is not a goal to which I aspire. I don’t want to live long as much as I want to live well. So, here’s my bucket list of sorts, the things I think will help me live well in my remaining years:

1) Stop wasting my time on stupid-fighting. We spend so much energy disagreeing with someone because we think we are right – like being in a huff with a utility company, or arguing with our significant other over the right way to load the dishwasher. It’s the stupid stuff that wears us down!

Truth is all the stupid stuff is what triggers our body’s responses, and it isn’t healthy for us, like blood pressure spikes, faster heart beats, and anxiety and depression. Let’s draw our line about what’s fight-worthy and what’s not. Stupid-fighting, as I like to call it, just doesn’t matter.

2) Quit worrying so much. Worrying is just a feeble attempt to control what we can’t control. It keeps us up at night and devours hours of our day. And for what? Worrying has zero impact on anything! I know from firsthand experience.

3) Be kinder. We live in some crazy times. So much hate has come out of the closet. So, what do we do about it? For me, I regularly attend church and a faith group where kindness abounds. I volunteer at church, at a family center, and do my best to flip the script on unkindness.

I understand that giving of our time, talent and treasure heads us in the right direction. It really is true that “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). Giving creates a “warm glow” effect and who couldn’t stand a little more warm-glowing?

4) Be with people. As most know now, I am married at this late season of life. My new husband and I found each other. And for that, I am eternally grateful. I was okay being alone. I knew I could fly solo, but I made the conscious choice not to. Perhaps I suffer from Noah’s Ark syndrome; I believe we are all happier if we share our lives with someone, or someones.

Carl and I realized that our forever is shorter than longer. And because of that knowledge, we try not to take what we have for granted. We wake up each day grateful for our good health, for our wonderful families, to live in a community where we enjoy many times of laughter and goodwill.

I know we (you and me) are better together. We need each other in a friends’ circle. Good friends are good for our health. They increase our sense of belonging and purpose and are there for us when we process life’s tough times and celebrations.

Now, as a 75-year-old, I don’t feel ready to die because I have too much love to pass on. I am not giving up until I’m taken up. But at some point, should my body or my mind fail me, I hope I’ll still be saying “I am still here so I am not done!” I also know if it is God’s appointed time for me to go to Him, I won’t be afraid to let go. In the meantime, I’ll keep learning the techniques for getting back up again and again!