The King is on His Throne!
My husband’s name, Ronald, means “mighty wise ruler”. We thought, over the years, that he had lived up to that definition as he was always in some form of leadership – guiding, leading, directing in business and ministry activities. But today, I have a whole new perspective — seeing how God has promoted him even further – to that of a “king”. Let me explain.
Two weeks ago tomorrow, my Honey was admitted to the hospital once again because of intense pain in his back. Tests revealed that new tumors were compressing nerves and impinging his spinal cord. Unable to resolve the pain with high doses of medication, except to put him to sleep to endure the pain, we were told the most effective way to help him would be to have a pain pump surgically implanted into his abdomen. A very thin catheter from the pain pump would then be implanted above his spinal cord and with a constant drip of medication that goes directly to the affected areas, would greatly reduce his pain. So that is the course of action that we took and we are so pleased with the results of the surgery as indeed the pain has substantially been decreased.
We had been noticing, over the past few weeks, that his legs had begun to grow weaker, unable to be weight bearing, so he had to use a walker more to stabilize himself. During this two weeks of hospitalization, his legs grew weaker – to the point that he was unable to lift or even move them. Our neurosurgeon advised us that it would be fatal for Ron to go through another surgery as the tumors had been so vascular and so aggressive. He emphatically told us that we had to make some drastic changes that would require some assistance. He said the best solution for support and care would be for us to arrange for hospice services. I heard his words but, being the “Martha” (doer/fixer) that I am, I started figuring out how to work a plan that included a home health nurse, a reclining wheelchair, physical therapy and “bring-on-the-prayer-team” activities!!! I had the plan and we would work that plan……until the next morning, when the neurosurgeon came back to tell us: ”I want you to understand! He cannot do physical therapy! He cannot be moved from a bed to a wheelchair! He must be confined to a bed as any additional movements could cause him to be completely paralyzed from the waist down, and the pain pump catheter could be placed into jeopardy, which would mean he would have to be put to sleep again because of the pain!” In spite of the words we were hearing, we still felt a peace that passed understanding….that God had us on course with His plans and, in spite of all my doing and fixing, I needed to submit to those plans. Within a few hours, the Care Manager at the hospital and the recommendations of those we quickly called for advice, helped us to arrange for a hospice agency, which ordered a hospital bed for our home to be delivered within a few hours. Then some members of our family and friends were dispatched to our home to take down our king size bed and make ready for the hospital bed and our arrival. We were picked up by an ambulance transport and arrived at our home-sweet-home to start a new chapter of our faith journey.
Even though we would have never planned or expected this new phase of our faith journey, we have a confidence and such a sense of knowing that we are at the place of divine destiny. Our all-knowing, all seeing God, knew we would be at this place and He prepared us by giving us so much peace and strength. When I woke the next morning, two verses of scripture resonated within me. “IN EVERYTHING (even this experience), give thanks for this is the will of God concerning you.” Everything…..means everything – IN this experience — to give Him thanks – that is God’s will for us. And the second scripture was St. Paul’s words, “whatever state I’m in, to be content.” So that’s our state of purpose, contentment and existence.
This morning, a dear friend brought communion to us. How sweet was the presence of our Lord as we remembered what He did for us on Calvary, and as we received His body for nourishment for this day. And as we worshipped and praised God for His love to us, I looked at my sweetheart, laying in his hospital bed, unable to move his legs or sit up beyond a 30 degree angle – yet so at peace, so at rest in this “state” that he’s in, so lavishing in the preciousness of God’s presence. Then, that picture changed completely as I got a whole new perspective of where he is on this faith journey. I thought about a king – how he sits on his throne and everyone and everything is at his beckoned command – he is fed, dressed, and given whatever he desires. I started picturing that hospital bed as a throne. Yes!!!! That’s it!!! My Ronald – my mighty, wise ruler…is sitting/laying on his throne, being ministered to as any other king would be – his food is brought to him, he is fed, he is dressed, he is massaged, he is so loved, respected and admired that everyone wants to please him and serve him. And in return….his responsibilities are to be at peace, lying in green pastures and to hear his King’s voice and instructions and pass on to us, his subjects, the wisdom of God. From the beginning of this faith journey, we heard the words “Be still and know that I am God”. Here we are: my king is on his throne and I’m truly making every effort to be “Mary” sitting at the feet of Jesus instead of hustling and bustling….both of us, desiring to KNOW THAT HE IS GOD! There are no adequate words to explain just how much at peace we are with where we’re at…..and though we’re here in this place, at this time, we have still not moved off that spot of believing for the miracle! At any given time, I would not be at all surprised if my Honey got up off his throne, fully healed, restored and saying, “How about going for a walk?” And as I read this blog to him, he smiled at me and gave me a king’s “thumbs up”!!!!!